Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
