Can Purell be used as lube?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
