dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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