I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
