Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
