My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
