i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
