Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
