Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
