this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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