some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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