i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
