Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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