did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
