you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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