we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think my vagina is haunted
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
