so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
