It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
