All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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