I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
