Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
