the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
