the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
