So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
