moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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