I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
