Please, let me fuck your mom
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
be right there i have to get my cape
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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