Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
