so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
