I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
