You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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