Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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