Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
