That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
