there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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