We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
tell me about the fingering
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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