He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
