Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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