Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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