There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
