I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
