discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
