shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
