Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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