doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
