first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
