she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
