franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
