I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
