i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
