Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
