Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
