thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My cat gives me a boner
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
