I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
