i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
