did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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